Ever since I came back to Ottawa, and even before then, I had been thinking about my friend Marc.  I’m not sure why.

Then this past weekend I was going through some old papers I had stored away at my parents place and I came across his parents address.  So I looked them up and they were still living in the same place.  I gave them a call and spoke to his father and he told me that Marc had passed away 6 years ago.

It’s such a shock to find out that someone I was really close to at one time in my life is now gone.   I’m not sure why I wanted to connect with him again but it’s very sad and frustrating not to be able to.  I also feel guilty that I didn’t do it sooner.  In fact, quite a few years ago he had contacted me and we visited for a few minutes.  It was a time in my life when I was struggling to figure out my identity and unfortunately I wasn’t very present to him and afterwords I didn’t keep in touch.

I regret not being able to be a better me at the time and I figured out last night that I have to be the best me I can be at all times and to really make an effort to enjoy every moment that I have.  Just like the saying goes, enjoy every moment as if it were your last.

Rest in peace Marc and I truly wish, no… I know that you are at peace now.

Peace and love,

Elle

I used to go out with a guy that used to say that to me all the time.  I hated it because it was during a really difficult time in my life.  Actually, the difficult time was because of him.  He was a crack addict and he put me through hell, trying to save his ass only to have him turn around and steal money and practically everything I own.  It used to burn me up inside when he would say “It’s all good” because I thought – no way this is good, it hurts way to much and I hate it… I think he used to say it as a way to fight against the feelings of being defeated or used and even worse. 

I don’t think at the time that he really new the most profound meaning of that sentence and I certainly didn’t. 

Thank GOD/The Universe, that I find myself in such a peaceful time in my life, many years later.  I can look back, with wisdom and be grateful for the most difficult time in my life.  In fact I can look back at all the hardships, all the pain and suffering, and I am completely grateful for my experiences because without the experiences that I’ve had in the past, the good as well as the bad, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and I love who I am.

It finally dawn on me the profound meaning of this sentence.  It’s all good!  It’s all good because no matter what, good or bad, I will love who I am.  I have unconditional love for myself.

Actually I’ve discovered even more.  I’ve learned and discovered that the only way to manifest something in your life is to dream about it.  That’s the first step; to visualize it.  The reason most of us can’t get past this part is that we are stuck in old habits.  They say we have over 90,000 thoughts a day, which is astounding, but the scary part is that 90-95% of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday.  We get stuck in paterns, or behaviors, otherwise known as habits.  The only way to get beyond these habits is to ba aware of them and to practice new ones and allow for the new ones to take hold.

Sometimes, we want something new in our lives; money for example.  The problem is that in order to have more money, we need to change because if we stay the same we’ll continue getting the same results, which is less money.  And it’s really difficult to change because habits are incestuous, for a good reason.  Our habits allow us to do many things at the same time because once it’s a habit then you don’t have to think about it any more.

Changing who we are may prove to be difficult.  You might be presented with something that you either don’t like or don’t want to do.  BUT if you were the person that you need to be in order to get what you want to get then you would love to do what you don’t presently like to do.

So next time you get presented with the “opportunity” to do something you don’t like to do (BUT – it will get you to where you want to be), remember that this is an opportunity and that one day you will look back, and because you love yourself unconditionally, you will be grateful for the opportunity and you will see that “It’s all good!”  So rather than waiting for sime time in the future to remind yourself that “it’s all good”, why not say it now, because you know you’ll be saying it then and you may as well enjoy the time you’re in now.  IT’S ALL GOOD!!!

Love Peace Love,
Elle
xo